A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. }; When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. And just dumb enough to passively accept it., The government doesnt lie, it engages in disinformation., Im a loyal American and Im not happy unless I let the government and industry poison me a little bit every day., Government wants to control information and control language because thats the way you control thought, and basically thats the game theyre in., Bullshit is the glue that binds us as a nation., I believe the government should step in where the free market fails., Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them., A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does.. We can afford to cut defense; we cant afford to cut education. if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { Thank you! 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. return cookiePair[1]; Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole. And the supreme arrogance? The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. George Carlin. " George Carlin Quotes "Most of the country was founded by slave owners so they could be free. var cookies = document.cookie.split('; '); He made us notice the things we never did before in the form of his humor and this world will forever be grateful for this brilliant mind. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, 44. In America, anyone can become president. Because theres no money in that problem. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. George Carlin, 33. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! Its totally FREE. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("surface", "mw"); He was the second onComedy Centrals list of top 10 American comedians in 2004, posthumously awarded theMark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, and ranked second in number on the list of the 50 best stand-up comedians of all time by Rolling Stonemagazine in 2017. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. I hate groups of people. "Forget the politicians. But there is an I in independence, individuality, andintegrity. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. You have no choice. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. Interview with Todd Leopold, edition.cnn.com. if (window.ue && window.ue.tag) { window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out', ue.main_scope);window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out:mobileWeb', ue.main_scope); } The less said about it the better. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reasonGeorge Carlin, They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. Im sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. George Carlin, 27. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. The only country that could invade America is America! "CacheDetection.RequestID": "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. If black boxes survive air crashes why dont they make the whole plane out of that stuff? George Carlin, 55. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. stylesheet.rel = "stylesheet"; The challenge is to find it.George Carlin, I put a dollar in a change machine. }, I have certain rules I live by. They own everything. ' George Carlin, 56. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. } //=0){return}if("ue_https" in e){f=e.ue_https}else{f=e.location&&e.location.protocol=="https:"?1:0}i=f? George Carlin died on June 22, 2008, from cardiac failure at the age of 71. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born May 12, 1937, in the Bronx, New York. "I have a right, you have no right, we have a right." Folks I hate to spoil your fun, but. Hope these quotes will give you a different perspective on government and how it works. George Carlin. Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. Just daydreaming. Yeah, I know, youre thinking. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. "I have certain rules I live by. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. Couldnt you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? Theres no present. There is only a short pause before the next horrifying event. The upper class: keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. window.csa("Config", { Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, You show me a lazy prick whos lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and Ill show you a guy whos not causing any trouble. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, I have lots of ideas. Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. It seems only right. Your dog thinks you're a god. Try spelling Evian backward. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. Keep em showing up at those jobs. George Carlin, 81. setDisplayBids: function() {}, You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain, All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another, "It's harder to be funny from the position of power. If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. You should die first, get it out of the way. " George Carlin Quotes "War will end when people stop showing up for it. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. try { The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice., Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups., If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else., Political correctness cripples discourse, creates ugly language and is generally stupid., Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out., When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person., If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders., If you have selfish and ignorant citizens then you too will become a selfish and bad leader.. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, 3. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. People are wonderful. googletag.pubads().enableAsyncRendering(); A.src = t; The following quotes are some of the most thought provoking sentences youll ever read. A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does. We just believed everything. Dont look for it. Thats the problem. It can help you a lot.George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. George Carlin. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, 4. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. They've long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Quotes by George Carlin One of the most iconic comedians of all time. The challenge is to find it. George Carlin, 17. And I didnt really care in the first place.George Carlin, Dont confuse me with those who cling to hope. Igor is a SEO specialist, designer, and freelance writer. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. I enjoy describing how things are, I have no interest in how they ought to be. And I certainly have no interest in fixing them. It will not be with jack-boots. Please dont forget to subscribe to ourRSS-feedor followInspirationfeedonTwitter,Google+,andFacebook! If you enjoyed the following article we humbly ask you to comment, and help us spread the word! They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience." - George Carlin 2. Electricity is really just organized lightning. googletag.pubads().collapseEmptyDivs(true); I hate groups of people. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. } pubID: '3211', adServer: 'googletag', bidTimeout: 4e3, params: { aps_privacy: '1YN' } They own everything. George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. Its because volunteers work for no pay. googletag.pubads().disableInitialLoad(); Witty George Carlin Quotes 1. 50 The Alchemist Quotes To Make You Follow Your Dreams, 195 Best Cobra Kai Quotes (Seasons 1 5), 70 Attack On Titan Quotes That Will Inspire Greatness, 37 The Lion King Quotes Filled With Powerful Life Lessons, Your email address will not be published. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. George Carlin Quotes Government : "Most of the government wants to control information and language so that it can control you. var ue_mid = "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1"; Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. God has a three-day weekend.George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. Its never just a game when youre winning. George Carlin, 7. They're always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Ghandi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. stylesheet.type = "text/css"; window.Mobvious = {}; Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. He loves you and he needs money. "Events.Namespace": "csa", I hate a group of people with a common purpose. 1. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin, 47. Weve added years to life, not life to years. if (window.csa) { Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then rarely followed up. George Carlin, 64. So arrogant. George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle-class and lower-class men off to die. George Carlin, 78. In this article, we present to you some of the famous George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion, Death, Voting, Freedom, Politics and More with their meaning. We think in language. Be happy with what youve got, because the owners of this country dont want that. var url; George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I, myself, have killed six people. } else { .__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.authorModuleDropdownMenu{width:180px;border-left:1px solid #D8D8D8;border-right:1px solid #D8D8D8;border-top:1px solid #D8D8D8}.authorModuleDropdownMenu__dropdownLink,.authorModuleDropdownMenu__dropdownLink:hover{display:block;text-align:left;padding:12px;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", sans-serif;font-size:14px;color:#000000;cursor:pointer}#authorInfo{display:-webkit-box;display:-moz-box;display:-ms-box;display:box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-moz-flex;display:-ms-flex;display:flex;padding:10px 10px 5px 10px}#authorInfo .authorInfoGroup{-webkit-box-flex:1;-moz-box-flex:1;-ms-box-flex:1;box-flex:1}#authorInfo .authorPhotoGroup{-webkit-box-flex:0;-moz-box-flex:0;-ms-box-flex:0;box-flex:0;margin-right:10px}#authorInfo .authorFollow{display:flex}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer{border-radius:3px;border:1px solid #D6D0C4;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", sans-serif;font-size:14px;-moz-appearance:none;-o-appearance:none;-webkit-appearance:none;appearance:none;cursor:pointer;display:inline-block;text-decoration:none;color:#333333;background-color:#F4F1EA;line-height:1;padding:8px 12px;font-size:16px;padding:12px 24px;box-sizing:border-box;text-align:center;margin-left:0px;padding:0px;min-width:38px;height:32px;background-image:url(/assets/down-caret.png);background-repeat:no-repeat;background-position:center;float:right}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:disabled{border-color:#DDDDDD}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:hover{color:#333333;background-color:#ede6d6;text-decoration:none}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:active{background-color:#D6D0C4}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:disabled{background-color:#F3F3F3;color:#cccccc}@media (max-width: 540px){#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer{min-width:20px;width:27px}}#authorBooks{*zoom:1}#authorBooks:after{content:"";display:table;clear:both}#authorBooks .sectionTitle{border-top:1px solid #CCCCCC;padding:10px 10px 0 10px;margin:0}.accordionContent{padding:0 10px}.authorBio{padding:0 10px;margin-bottom:10px}.authorBooksMeta{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;padding:0 10px}.authorBooksMeta a{color:#00635D}.authorBooksTotalReviewCount:before,.authorBooksTotalRatingCount:before{content:"\00b7"}.authorDetailsList dt,.authorDetailsList dd{display:inline;margin:0}.authorDetailsList dd:after{content:'\A';white-space:pre}.authorDetailsList dt{font-weight:bold}.authorDetailsList dd{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;margin-bottom:15px}.authorDetailsList dd a{color:#00635D}.authorSimilarAuthorsLink{padding:0 10px}.authorDistinctWorksLink{padding:0 10px;display:block;margin-bottom:10px}.authorFansLink{font-weight:bold}.authorInterviewsList{list-style-type:none;margin:0;padding:0}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterview{margin-bottom:15px}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterviewAt{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterviewAt a{color:#00635D}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterviewTitle{display:block}.authorName{margin-bottom:10px}.authorShortBio{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif}.authorShortBio a{color:#00635D}.authorQuotesLink{margin-bottom:15px}.quotesList{border-top:1px solid #CCCCCC;margin-top:15px}.quotesPage{margin-left:10px}.noQuotes{margin-top:15px} I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. A.async = !0; As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. [CDATA[ Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. #government. I sincerely believe that if you think theres a solution, youre part of the problem. Everybodys going to save something now. // page settings Don't forget: YOU have the power to make ANYTHING happen. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. American You don't. You have no choice. Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, 77. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, 26. a[a9] = { Its never just a game when youre winning.George Carlin, If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrheadoes that mean that 1 enjoys it?George Carlin, Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes.George Carlin, Religion is just mind control. Source; . node.parentNode.insertBefore(gads, node); Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. The middle class pays all of the taxis, does all of the work. That's the problem. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. George Carlin's Estate, via HBO. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.George Carlin, I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. 2023 Inspirationfeed. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. The planet is fine. Its interested in its own power. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. But he loves you. They never mention that part to us, do they? George Carlin, 50. When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. }); Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, 39. Carlin and his "Seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. var cookie = cookies[i]; Men are often so foolish as to boast and value themselves upon their passions, even those that are most vicious. It will be Nikesneakers and Smiley shirts. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, By and large, languageis a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres theself-helpsection? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. The people are fucked! George Carlin, 80. Did you ever stop to think about all the people we kill? That's the problem." "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out." " Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity ." Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time,George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other taboo subjects. " George Carlin 14. They should be more vivid. He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games. Authors. The reason I talk to myself is that Im the only one whose answers I accept.George Carlin. And apparently Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.George Carlin, Im completely in favor of theseparation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enoughon their own, so both of them together iscertain death.George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.George Carlin, If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Its important in life if you dont give a shit. Let me know in the comments below and please share this post. Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. It will not be with jack-boots. 4994. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. , Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. The people are f***ed. var googletag = googletag || {}; George Carlin was no stranger to controversy. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, 41. They're imaginary. Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it because youve lost your identity because you now owe your allegiance to this thing thats bigger than you are and that controls you. George Carlin, 71. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, 22. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. Were so self-important. Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion. Whether we agreed with his acerbiccommentary or not, his words always reminded us of how sharp a weapon humor can be in slicing through the surface of our assumptions and leaving us, as he would say, gasping for breath.. g = p.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. }); George Carlin has many famous quotes about government, education and the American dream that are often referenced as truth. //]]> Use your fucking heads! George Carlin's full name was George Denis Patrick Carlin.